It's been just over a week since my unfortunate rotational fall while drag hunting at Milton Park with the Cambridge Uni drag hounds. It was on Scully the coloured cob, and it was one hell of a splat!
The pace wasn't too fast at Milton but with a horse who basically thinks he's a mix of a land rover defender with the speed of a race horse it's fairly difficult to keep in control and stop when you need to. Talking of not being able to stop...
The situation was that 3 of us were lined up for a fence, all in a staggered position so not to jump onto each others heels. The thing was that the first horse stopped, which in turn caused the second and middle horse to stop also.. and with me about 3 strides out I instantly tried pulling up but Scully was having none of it and figured he could fit through the small gap left to jump. Unfortunately half a stride out changed his mind (I had been trying to tell him by pulling as hard as I could to stop) but by then it was too late; his momentum was still carrying him and I too fast into the fence. In a last ditch attempt to help himself and I scully got his left leg over and with that I was flying over his head, over the fence and onto the ground on the other side. Luckily and quite scarily time seemed to slow down and I saw the ground coming up rather fast. Luckily I was able to put my heads out and save myself from diving head first into the ground. In that split second from landing on the floor and turned to see Scully flipping in a rotational fall over the fence and towards me. But in that split second there was just not enough time to move out the way and Scully landed on my legs and pelvis.
Now on top of me and on his back I could see and feel Scully on his back on me trying to right himself (Think a tortouise on it's back legs flailling, cause that it was it looked like). Quickly I put my hands on his belly and tried to roll him away from my torso and face, but he was too far gone towards me and was too heavy for me to push away so I had to let go and let him roll towards me so his tummy was now on my legs, pelvis and bottom of my torso. He lay there a bit shocked for a bit while I remember shouting "He's on top of me! He's on top of me!".
In those seconds that the fall and being to where we were now Sam, Clare and Tara had cantered over to me to help. I remember Sam shouting to me "Yes he is on top of you, can you pull yourself out?"
With Scully a little bit more aware of himself now, put his front legs down and pushed the front part of his body up. Unfortunately my legs were still well and truely stuck under his bottom and back legs so there was no way I could pull myself out. I did try but couldn't do it.
He's not a little chap so I'd lost basically all of the feeling in my legs at this time so just had to wait until he was off me.
I remember telling Sam I could get my legs out and was instructed to just wait until he gets up! I remember pushing him and having to encourage Scully to get up. I think he was a bit worried about squashing me further but when he made moves to get up I basically then just covered my chest, head and neck with my arms and curled up as best I could and hoped he wouldn't stand on me. And to his credit he didn't, he missed standing on me completely so I was able to get up after that.
In the probably 30 seconds or more he was on top of me my legs had gone very numb and we're hurting so I hobbled over to the fence and propped myself up while Sam held Scully and her horse.
Now that I was standing and away from danger and further injury shock kicked in very quickly. I remember standing holding the fence trying to speak and answer questions when I could feel my wind pipe starting to tighten up and close.. I spoke out and said "Honestly Im actaully ok but I'm now finding it hard to breath. Wind pipe tight" and trying to suck air in.
Sam, bless her, was super good and asked me if my stock was too tight but it was sheer shock. I repeated I'm ok, im fine just...breathing. I was a very weird experience cause in my head I wasn't freaking out and panicing, I was perfectly calm but my brain was telling me to panic. Sam instructed me to breath in through my nose and out through my mouth, which I did of course bit still my airway got tighter and tighter. It wasn't long before I could feel myself getting light headed so I called out and said I had to sit down before I fainted. And being absolutely covered in mud already, what was the hurt sitting down in more mud? None, so I sat down and a bit undignified I swung my legs up in the air and put them on the fence. I've fainted and helped enough people while fainting in my time as a first aider to know that in shock your body automatically sends all the blood to vital organs and you faint from lack of oxygen rich blood in your brain. So by sticking my legs up I could get the blood from my legs back to my head and avoid passing out. I laid there trying to breathe and not pass out, I was mortified enough without doing that. Luckily after a minute or two my air ways relaxed, I didn't feel faint any more so I stood back up. Clare beckoned over a car to come and pick me up because at first I thought I couldn't get back on, but with not banging my head and not really having any pain anywhere in my legs, back, neck or shoulders I figured "F it, I'm going to ride back to the pack and see how I feel". Therefore we cantered back to the boxes which is where the second line had ended and people and horses were getting their breaths back.
I decided that actually nothing really hurt and I was a bit muddy, Scully was actually fine and wasn't hurt (I must make a good squishy landing mat) but both of us were ok considering, so we carried on, although not jumping any more.
So, now that i've explained all that happened I wanted to talk about how I feel now, a week later and should I have done things different etc.
First of all, I was in fact really quite alright in the days after. I was absolutely stiff as a board, but nothing broken. I was a bit worried about my left shin as that was really rather painful and even more so when touched that night, but after a sleep it felt better and not so agonising so I figured it wasn't broken and to just take normal pain meds and not go to the hospital.
Two days after the fall I thought I really should get back on a horse and well 'Get back on the horse' as they say so I went for a ride out with Georgie and what I figured would just be a walk. I bridged my reins and basically rode holding them in my right hand, leaving my left arm and shoulder to rest. Alas Georgie had different ideas and actually wanted to canter and I couldn't exactly not do it cause the horse I was on would have gone mental. So I gritted my teeth and had a short canter. I do think the ride in general helped ease off the stiff and tenseness in my muscles and I felt fine about rding still.
While on this ride I got a rather big telling off from Georgie about not wearing a back protector or air jacket but I honestly think an air jacket would have been detromental in that situation. Don't get me wrong, I am a avid fan of air jackets but rather than just being landed on and horse getting up I was laid on for quick some time, but a horse that probbaly weighs about half a tonne. What I realise though that actually if I had an air jacket on I would have been laid there basically immobile like some giant inflatable tyre. I would have struggled to put my arms out to roll Scully away from my head and torso and I think he would have struggled to get up and may well have actually trodden on me if I had a big bulky air jacket on. Same perhaps with a back protector but i'll obviously never know in this situation and a rotational fall is something I never want to have happen to me again.
On wednesday I met a man who's wife is an eventer and we chatted and I mentioned why I was stiff and hobbling abit and mentioned the rotational fall, he said his wife had a rotational fall and ruptured organs and was in hospital for 5 weeks. So it really did make me think about how lucky I had. Granted, she was competing in a BE 2 star where the fences were much bigger, but still.
The thing that actually has taken the longest to heel is my left shoulder and arm; I figured that that was the first limb to hit the ground and therefore take all of the impact. I landed on the shoulder rather hard I think. That really took about a full 6/7 days to feel good. I got the yesterdays meet at Trumpington with it still a little sore and stiff but actually feeling like it had strength in it.
Another thing I noticed was yesterday getting back on and standing in field mastering I realised that not only did I have to jump, but i'd be leading and all eyes would be on me! No mistakes could be made and I had to make sure to not fall off. I had had my confidence knocked by the whole experience really. On the ground I had told myself that I was fine and i'd be alright jumping but actually jumping and doing it well was another matter.
Luckily Monkey is so scopey and jumped so cleanly and rather than getting in tight to a fence he could take a big one. I'd rather a horse take a stride out then put an extra one in personally.
I do feel I was rusty jumping yesterday and was absolutely not at my best. Looking at some of the photos proves that to me, I was not forward and up in the saddle really for jumping and I think that is my subconcious fear of flying over the horses head again. With time I'm sure I'm sure I'll get that confidence back and will jump much more fluidly and without depending on the horse so much. Seeing this photo makes me sad! I 100% used Monkey to get me over that fence, not the other way round and I feel embarassed about that. I never ever like holding onto a horses mouth and to Monkey I apologise!
This makes me sad, i'm sorry Monkey!
This photo may just be a one off as the rest of the photos aren't as bad, and I know that once I got back into the swing of things I ws jumping well, wasn't relying on Monkey and did a decent job. I had great wing (wo)men in Hugh and Emma who gave Monkey and I leads and confidence while up front! I really do appreciate it. Plus I did have a wonderful day
I've said it before and I'll say it again, hats off to jockeys! They have some bloody awful fall and they get back on and ride the next horse. That really does take ball!
I guess where to go from here... I'm working weekends now for the foreseeable future so I'm not sure when I will be hunting or jumping again but I hope that yesterday helped me get mentally positive about jumping going forward and that I can conciously and subconciously move on from that fall and that as time goes on i'll forget it and will be back in my stride again.
I big thank you to Sam, Tara and Clare for being so quick to come to my aid during and after the fall, it helped massively in not freaking out! As always to Henry and the drag hunt for letting me ride and lending me horses! To Sophie also for allowing me to ride Monkey and for asking me to field master. I've ticked off a line on my bucket list!
Keep on riding, head up, shoulders back, brain in gear and never give up!
